'Tis gonna be a good year!

Okay, so I changed my mind. I decided that I will, in fact, make resolutions for the year that's just round the corner. Why? Well, I am bored out of my mind right now. I figured that as the end of the year is the least productive time at work, I might as well make it (as much as I can) productive for me! Most of these resolutions won't last anything more than a month. But, hey, at least I can claim I tried. Right? So here goes nothing. My list of resolutions for 2012! (of course, all this is considering the world is ending. If it doesn't, 2013 sees the old me again. *evil grin*) (Also, if you're a Pearls Before Swine fan, you're in for a treat!)

1. (Numbering makes this whole ordeal shorter. I won't ramble on and on like I did last time. Oh, maybe I will. My sympathies!) So, to kick off this list is the resolution I mentioned in the last post. I cannot, will not and shall not use the "hackneyed" acronym LOL when I feel like laughing (in text). I agree with the view that it is extremely hackneyed (now, my rant about it being hackneyed is getting hackneyed. Ah, the irony!) It makes for poor conversation fillers, mostly when there is nothing else to say in response. Instead I shall use HMOG (devised by my good friend, Prasad. It stands for holy mother of god. If used, please accept it as a pat on your back. You have made me laugh), or 'Hehehehe' (here, the number of syllables is directly proportional to the appreciation you deserve), or an adjective (which would be self-explanatory), or perhaps merely a simpler 'HaHa'. Do not be fooled. I am simply being kind. If I do not say anything in response, get the hint.

2. I WILL tolerate people using the acronym 'LOL'. Below is an image (again) that represents what I really want to do. (It merely serves as a 'gentle' reminder).

3. I will not correct people's grammar. I have realized it doesn't go down too well with most people. Really. Give it a try. Especially if the person in question is giving a speech. During the question & answer session, point out grammatical errors. Do not ask me how it will end. I never had the balls to do THAT. (Watching some one else do it might give me a kick, though!) Oh, better yet, point out pronunciation errors. That doesn't go down too well with people either. (Not everyone thinks of it as community service. I wonder why!)

4. In conjunction with above resolution, I will not grimace when people mispronounce certain words. I have come to realise over the years that it's a dead giveaway that I am irritated. (Also, I have come to realise, I cannot act. For nuts.) My question at this point is, is it really THAT difficult to pronounce "opportunity". Why must people behave like it is hyphenated and is actually two words, 'oppor' and 'tunity' and insert a pause in between? I have a whole collection of 'grimace-able' words: environment (yes, the -vi- is pronounced rhyming with 'why', the -viron- is NOT pronounced rhyming with heron), Kansas (really, anyone who pronounces it Kahn-Saas deserves to be slapped), etcetera (for etc), not EX-cetra and so on and so forth. You get the basic picture. Now, I don't claim to be a master of the English language, but I think I do pass muster.So, there!

5. Again, almost, in conjunction with the above two is that I will not get irritated when people misspell common words. (I know, I know, I am picky about what people say. If only I could control their tongues. Sigh!) But, really, you got to give me this one. How, pray tell me, how can you be in your 20's and not know the difference between lose and loose.(I really don't mind mistakes while typing and/or writing, but this is deliberate!) No, India did not loose the match. Does that even make sense? (merely thinking about it frustrates me, if that is possible!) Along the same lines, but slightly less irritating are effect and affect. Worse yet, when people misspell 'Hi'. Two measly letters. How can you possible misspell it? How? (I think the more important question here is how do I know these people? Hmm, that might be jumping the gun, but well, that is how irritated I am!)(Oh, also if any of you fall into this category, accept this as a small but exciting learning opportunity) *smiling graciously*

6. That does it with my language woes. Oh, I will stick to my gym schedule. Laziness is my biggest enemy. I will fight it. My incentive? I get fitter, stronger and can punch people who fall into above four categories. *evil smile*

7. Oh, thought of one more language woe. I will not use Hinglish. I will try (to the best of my ability) to talk unadulterated English. By "unadulterated" I mean the elimination of words that belong in Hindi, for example, Na, Re and other such syllables that sound like musical notes. Kind of like this strip below...

8. Even though I turn 25 this year, I will not fall prey to the 'quarter-life-crisis'. Someone did point out that 'quarter-life-crisis' at 25 basically assumes you will live to be a hundred years old. Hmm...fair point, but nevertheless, let's be positive and ASSUME i will live to be a hundred *touchwood*! I will not "re-examine" my priorities, count how many of my friends are getting married, think about how much money I am making (and/or spending), worry about my ticking body clock, and how I'm becoming ... old (there, I said it!), and wonder about where I want to be five years from now. I will do all of the above in 2013! (Well, I can't put it off forever, now, can I?) In 2012 I will, however, play with my Lego blocks, watch a ton of movies (which strangely I haven't done this year), read dozens of new comics (Yes, you heard me, comics), travel, eat and be merry and basically pamper my inner child. You only get to be 25 once!

9. Travel. I want to travel. A lot. (hmm, I will need to think about how much money I'm making, after all) What works for me is that my parents are coming! (*fingers crossed*) So i can fulfill some part of those travelling wishes with them.

10. Learn a new skill/ Pick up a new hobby. I am leaning heavily towards photography. But, it has become so cliched, it isn't even funny. But, what I really want to do, is learn the technical details. Learn what the different functions are, learn how different parameters affect the image and so on. I cross my heart, I will NOT show off my photos on facebook! *grin*

11. Using asterisks to portray emotions. This has all the makings of becoming very hackneyed, very soon. Maybe no one has picked up the nuances yet. Or maybe it belongs to an era gone by. But, I will milk it for all it's worth. None of that hashtag and alpha (@) nonsense. #MeTryingTooHard? Maybe! *Shrug! Like I Care*

12. Facebook. Aah, I have multiple resolutions with respect to that. First off, I will post issues that are relevant. Yes, soon we shall see posts on global warming, the sinking economy and more such crap on my facebook page. (Forgive my use of the word crap. The economy is most definitely not crap. Neither is global warming for that matter.) Point being, who really wants to read comic strips that have been posted and re-posted countless times? (Well, I do...but, anyway!)

13. The stronger resolution of course, is to be less active on Facebook. Deactivating my account would be pushing it, but well, I most definitely can try being less active. Apparently excess facebooking is a sign of being a #Loser. (haha, i didn't even use that right, did I?!) So I shall Facebook less. Anonymous stalking continues as before. *evil glint in eye*

14. I will make good on my "Books-to-read" list. It is growing faster than I thought it would. Mostly, because I am reading a lot lesser than I thought I would. Stripping Borders as it closed was amazing, but now to actually read all those books I bought. Also on the list, a larger bookcase! The books are overflowing onto the carpet now. I'm not complaining, believe me. (My one life-long dream for when I have my own house; a ceiling-to-floor bookcase that spans an entire wall! Though, I have always wondered

about how to get to the ones close to the ceiling. Yes, yes a ladder, I presume. I would love a mechanical/hydraulic two axis lift though. *eyes open in shiny wonder*

A rather crude drawing is herewith attached! (Yes, I was extremely jobless today)

(Also, if any of you are on Goodreads, add me!)

15. Friends. No, no, not the TV show. I have almost OD'ed on that. I have realised I haven't been the best friend. I am out of touch with most people I grew up with, and went to school and college with. (Being Facebook friends doesn't count as being in touch. At least, for me it doesn't.) And I don't like that. So come 2012, I am going to try and get back in touch with all my close friends, and stay in touch with them.

16. I WANT to follow Rat's philosophy (oh, wait, who rat? Rat from Pearls before Swine) of not ending sentences with smileys. If you notice, not one smiley in the entire post! Ref: below!

17. Quoting comic strips. Okay, so somehow I feel, Calvin and Rat put everything in better perspective. So next time, I am going to quote Pastis and Watterson. C'mon face it, when else do you get to quote comic characters? Also, they deliver punchlines with such panache (it's really all in the wording) and in fewer words than I ever could manage. Plagiarism? No! I rather we call it 'inspiration' ala Bollywood plagiarists!

18. Get over my fear of heights and dogs. Who is afraid of dogs, you must be wondering. Well, I am. (And of cats too!) I love dogs. But they scare me. I want to get a dog to get over the fear but that might be stretching it a little. Also, get over my fear of cockroaches, lizards, mice...umm, basically anything that moves and is not human!

Hmmm, as far as I can think of it, I'm done! Okay, so maybe they weren't exactly the best resolutions...but, I AM trying. And c'mon, admit it, some were genuine. (Oh, also with reference to point 2 through 5, "come on" is most definitely not "common". That's common, as in ordinary or found everywhere!) They really were. I'll try to stick to the genuine ones as far as possible. What are your resolutions for the new year? Got any good ones to, umm, steal? (Oh, inspire, I mean!)

Cheers!

PS: Happy New Year

PS2: Oh, of course I have the usual resolutions of giving my work 100%, being a good role model, community service etc etc, but calling them resolutions for the next year would imply I didn't do

any of it this year, wouldn't it? Till next year...

PS3: Last one, I promise. I probably have a ton of grammatical errors, which basically points to the fact that I'm a hypocrite. I will read and re-read and weed them out. Soon. In the meantime, you HAVE to see this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling